Euro-Maast

It has been too long since I last updated this blawg (over a month). Between school assignments, final exams, and a new internship, I kind of got swamped and put this to the side. I've decided to write in reverse chronological order to catch up. This blawg entry covers my trip to Maastricht, and subsequent posts will deal with Amsterdam and Berlin. I think this will maximize my memory of little trip details, but this also means that by the time I write about Berlin I'll probably think I was someone else during a different century.

Maastricht is a quaint Dutch town in its own right, but when I heard that the Erasmus student group was arranging a day trip there, all I could think about was Maastricht's place in European Union history. For the uninitiated, the Maastricht Treaty played a defining role in establishing the EU as we know it, including the creation of the euro and the Europeanization of policy areas beyond economics. For Euroskeptics, I guess this makes Maastricht the scene of the crime. For Europhiles, Maastricht is like a mecca. So consider this my hajj. I've probably offended someone.

I want to preface the rest of this post by saying that I generally avoid tours. I don't like the idea of being on someone else's schedule. To me, tours are like being a passenger in a NASCAR car during a race: you know you're being guided by a professional, but you also know best case scenario that you're playing vehicular ring around the rosie for a few hours. I don't really recall where else I was going with that simile. Relatedly, I have an irrational fear of European bathroom breaks from my travels. I seriously had to pee the first day of my Brussels study abroad trip, and at that moment I discovered the horror of priced facilities. Pay-to-pee services. This was at a McDonald's no less, and I had to wait in line to ask for change to pay the precise 50 cents in order to access the bathroom, which was being guarded by a cleaning troll. Then, during my Munich study abroad, I seriously had to pee during the entire 45 minute metro ride back from Hofbrauhaus (a bar that serves 1-liter beers) and I had to pay 50 cents at our metro stop to go through a turnstile to get to the urinals. Connecting this all back to tours, I don't trust that bathrooms will be easily accessible or even available, and being in a tour group hinders your ability to run off and find that one magical place where humans can freely relieve themselves. Have you no shame, Europe?  

And none of that had to do with Maastricht. Let's begin.

This was a very good tour experience overall. Maastricht is about 2 hours 15 minutes to the south of Rotterdam by bus. The student group gave everyone packed lunch (two sandwiches and a clementine) along with stroopwafels and a piece of cake. The bus ride passed by fairly quickly, partially because the student group decided to have a "speed date" session with people changing seats every so often to meet other people. It was a nice change of pace, and I ended up hanging out with one of the other students for most of the trip. Sometimes you just know instantly that you will work well together as friends.

First stop on our trip was the Caves of Sint Pietersberg. To make a short story short, there's an entire network of 20,000 subterranean man-made limestone tunnels in Maastricht, carved out over the span of 700 years.

This network enabled Maastrichtians (I'm making up that name) to smuggle things throughout the city during numerous sieges (modern day Dutchmen probably use it for Xtreme bicycle training). Our tour guide also informed us that the limestone was composed mostly of chalk derived from dinosaur bones, which made my constant touching of the walls slightly more macabre.

I'm now afraid to go to sleep because I fear that the ghosts of the Jurassic Park veloceraptors will come for revenge. Anyways, the tunnels being completely underground, you cannot see anything without a lantern. Which of course meant that at one point, the tour guide turned off all the lanterns and made us feel our way through the place (I sure hope that was your shoulder I accidentally touched, anonymous shadow person). I assumed this was the Maastricht equivalent of hazing, until we exited the tunnels and saw a bunch of girls standing around with broken eggs and banana peels on their heads. Worst sorority, like, ever, like.

We then proceeded to a boat tour of Maastricht. Not much to tell about it, other than it was a nice way to see the main parts of the city. I saw the building where the Maastricht Treaty was signed (the Limburg Provincial Government building), but I didn't know which building it was until about 5 minutes ago (this picture is from Wikipedia, since I had no effing clue at the time that THIS was THE building).

Also, the boat had a fully-operational café, so when I beheld the most beautiful of drinks, my beloved warme chocolademelk, in the hands of another, I had to get some. Apparently I am weird because I add sugar to hot chocolate. At least I can blame it on the American-ness in me, and our distinct love of chasing after Type II diabetes.  

The last sightseeing part of the trip was the Saint Servatius Basilica. As advertised, there was some church-type stuff, and Jesus-type stuff, and religious-type stuff, and bones encased in gold trinkets...-type stuff. Did I mention that there were human bones preserved in strange metallic objects?

In fact, one object looked like the championship trophy for praising god:

I'm very firmly in the "seen one, seem 'em all" camp when it comes to church viewings, but I can't recall human remains getting into the mix before. Either way, I'm still fairly confused as to the combo church-museum atmosphere. Were the church overlords unsure about what to do with all these random bones and golden pieces? Or did they just want to charge admission to church? It's kind of like Walt Disney World, except I don't remember seeing Mickey's bones displayed at the park entrance. And the only ride is the spiritual journey you get to take with Jesus. FEEL THE ADRENALINE.

There was a two hour interlude between the religiousy stuff and dinner, so my new friend and I wandered aimlessly around the city center and grabbed a chocolate-filled waffle and gelato. We stumbled upon two girls giving away free packages of cracker snacks, then noticed two guys on the other end of the courtyard giving out the same snacks. Needless to say, I'm Jewish, and free things, and I now have a bag full of crackers. (All religions were insulted in the making of this blog.) We also ended up at a souvenir shop, which apparently doubled as a party store, which apparently double-doubled as an Exhibit of Zwarte Piet's Racist Bonanza. It's okay though, because tradition.

           
     



Aside from all that, the only other parts of the trip were dinner and the bus ride home. Forty euros well spent, I would say.

In unrelated news, since I have now finished with finals for my Block I classes, I begin Block II classes on Monday. I'm taking EU External Relations Law, Law of International Institutions, and Alternative Dispute Resolution. I tried to reduce my weekly class time in order to travel more during my last month and a half here, so hopefully this will mean more blawg posts.

Today's Dutch lesson: reisleider (tour guide).