London Calling

In the span of things, today has been relatively boring.  I woke up late; I ate the basic foodstuff I got from the food store; I walked and walked and walked; I got a transportation card for Rotterdam buses/metros; I checked out the university and law school libraries; I had to collect seven Dragonballs from across the land so that a giant dragon would grant me a wish.  You know, typical Dutch stuff.

Side note on Erasmus' (maybe Dutch?) libraries: wow.  They suck.  The law library has like 3 rows of books.  The main campus library is worse.  Here's the system to check out a book.

1) Before you can enter the library, you must first place your backpack in a locker.  

2) Once you have been granted permission to become part of Fight Club, I mean enter Erasmus library, you must then find an open computer and seat upon which to place your derriere.  

3) You must then buckle your safety belt, keeping your pies y piernas dentro del vehiculo.   

4) After allowing the slowest computer of all time to awaken from its mighty slumber, you then open up the library catalog search engine to type in your search.

5) The search engine will produce the opposite results of what you might expect.

6) If you prayed hard enough, you will find something that remotely looks like your book.

7) Once you find the book, you must click on the result, which brings up a link allowing you to reserve the book.  However, you can only do this step if you understand Dutch and know what on earth that particular library is called in their system.

8) After clicking the reservation link, you have to enter a "borrower number" and the first three letters of your last name. 

9) Assuming you were not able to figure out that the borrower number is your student number PLUS the number 13, you might as well go kill yourself.  

10) If you have made it this far without killing yourself, you may actually get a book.

11) ...if you're willing to wait at least 20 minutes.  Apparently you cannot actually look through, touch, or otherwise physically interact with books.  You must bow down to the almighty Librarian to retrieve the book from the Nether Regions under the library.  

12) A man with visible chest hair emerging from the top of his t-shirt, known in the Rotterdam underground as Der Woolfman, will either eat your book or deliver it to you, depending on how he feels at the moment.  

13) The book then self-destructs after 5 seconds. 

That was a long, roundabout way of distracting from the lack of things that happened today.  But today was necessary in order to prepare for the week ahead: London and Stonehenge, followed by an academic conference on EU law in the overseas territories.  Tomorrow, I am taking an approximately 10 hour bus ride on Eurolines from Rotterdam to London, going from 11:15am to 9pm.  My plan is to spend September 1 in London, go to Stonehenge on the 2nd, and spend a second day in London on the 3rd.  I will then take the bus back on the 4th, from 8am to 7:45pm.  I will be staying at the Astor Victoria hostel, near Buckingham Palace.  If you need to get a hold of me, Facebook message or email is the way to go.

Today's Dutch lesson: avontuur (adventure).  

                   

Vakken A

I want to start today's blog with a word.  A very important Dutch word.  A very special word. It means subjects, as in courses.

Vakken.  

Type it into Google Translate and ask Siri or whoever does that voice-over to pronounce it for you.  It sounds strangely familiar.  You will never forget the word VAKKEN.

The topic of VAKKEN happens to describe my day.  Today was orientation day for Erasmus School of Law.  Classes officially start on September 2, but actually start on September 9.  This leaves 10 days to fill with travel, studying, learning a language, more Rotterdam, staring blankly at walls, watching paint dry, resurrecting Dutch monarchs, etc.  I'm fairly sure I'd like to go with the travel option, but I'm also open to the others.  I could accomplish the first and last by going to my #1 desired travel destination (Stonehenge) and performing some mystical seance thing or whatever the kids do these days.

Back on track...I began the day by meeting with the professor from my EU Internal Market Law class (if I make it that far without unleashing a plague of zombie monarchs).  I wanted to clarify what was meant in the syllabus by "moot court."  It is exactly what I thought.  Apparently I will have to write an appellate brief to the General Court or European Court of Justice as the representative for an EU Member State.  I then have to present my argument orally, presumably in front of the professor.  Luckily, since basic procedural matters have mostly been resolved by the time a case reaches the EU judiciary, the argument will almost exclusively rely on legal merits.  I'm fairly intimidated at the thought of doing this, but I know it will be a really fantastic learning experience and it involves group work.  The professor was also extremely nice and left me feeling optimistic about my preparedness for the course.

Afterwards I went on a quick campus tour.  The campus is fairly standard, with blocky architecture (which I previously described as a "pleasant concentration camp" aesthetic) and dark neutral tones; however, certain areas are punctuated by modern abstract artwork:

I wonder how much slavery went into this wonderful glaswerk.  According to urban legend which I am just making up now, the above art actually spells Arbeit Macht Frei.  Curious, since that's not even a Dutch phrase.  Yet, my guess is that very little prisoner labor went into such an expressive piece, considering the slavery must be focused on the massive construction undertaking which has now absorbed about half of the entire campus:

That is the actual map.  I did not Photoshop it.  I hope there's Dutch worker's compensation for students if a brick falls on my face during class.

After the tour, I headed to the School of Law's orientation program (beforehand I ate at the campus restaurant, where I ordered a pizza margherita with mozzarella di bufala - MOLTO BENE).  I met up with Marta, the other FSU student on the exchange program, and also met a very nice Ethiopian exchange student.  The orientation itself included a number of presentations, ranging from pertinent student organizations to an overview of the Netherlands and its legal culture.  In particular, I found the presentation on the Netherlands quite interesting.  I learned that the Dutch are actually the tallest people in the world, like to plan and be punctual, complain a lot, and have given up all hope of rebuilding an empire so they have turned to mining meteorites for precious metals in order to fulfill their devious plan for forced world punctuality.  I may be misinformed on one of those things.  I also learned that Rotterdam is one of the few European cities with a skyline, due to the fact that the German Luftwaffe bombed the VAKKEN out of the city during World War II so there was no historical center to preserve.        
                
Erasmus then decided to throw all of the exchange and international students a nice party on the 17th floor of one of the buildings.  The food and drink were amazing, but the view was even more amazing:

I made a lot of new friends in 2 hours.  One in particular happens to be Italian, so she and I are going to try to be language partners while we're here.  I also met someone who will be participating in an exchange program with FSU next semester.  Small world.

Today's extra Dutch lesson:
- Ja (Yes)/Nee (No).
- Goedemorgen. (Good morning.)    
   

Wanderlust

As the word implies, Wanderlust is a lust for wandering.  Who could have guessed that???  Regardless, that word encapsulates my day.  Except that some of it was by accident, and therefore lacked the requisite lusting.  

I somehow managed to sleep until 10:30 this morning.  It may have something to do with staying up until 1:30 last night.  I don't feel jetlagged, but my body is probably thinking to itself "I thought we were friends?!"  Between that, the seemingly-endless walking, and the emotional toll of leaving my friends and family, I understand more than ever how exhausting dislocation from your home can be.  Some people have commented that I'm brave or bold to go live in a country for four months amongst people whose language I cannot speak; I think of it more as I'm willing to be exhausted to pursue my passion.  My passion happens to be European Union and international law, but the message applies equally to everyone: sometimes you have to put your comfort zone to the side to find yourself.  Or as my friend Andal put it (originally in French): "One does not discover new land without agreeing to lose sight of all shores, at first and for a while."  

I started the day by retracing my now-usual Oosterdijk to Hoogstraat route, which takes me into a shopping district, to go to the phone store.  My iPhone was claiming that I used nearly all of my 1 GB data within 2 days.  So I held the Siri button and said "Quit being a snarky bitch and tell me the real deal."  To which she replied "You didn't actually say that, but going along with this pretend situation, I still won't tell you."  Considering my internet connectivity in general has been poor, I was very perturbed.  Ultimately, the guy at the phone place told me not to worry, that T-Mobile's records show I used only a few MB so far, and he told me how to check the real numbers.  Unfortunately it's all in Dutch, so dankjewel for nothing, jackass! (Google Translate to the rescue.)

I decided at that point to wander beyond where I've been thus far, towards the city center.  I stumbled upon an H&M, which was an affordable place to shop in Brussels; here, it's as overpriced as in the States.  Shame.  However, it seems like H&M style permeates young Dutch professionals: solid colored button-down shirts without an undershirt, tight jeans or khaki-type pants with a belt, loafer-looking shoes probably without socks, and a stupid haircut.  In fact, the 'stupid haircut' is the accessory of choice for most Dutch (and most likely European) men.  Apparently the hip new thing post-David Beckham fauxhawking is "tribal haircuts" like this (http://66.img.v4.skyrock.net/7366/78667366/pics/3050879253_1_7_0Zcqtx9v.jpg).  

On my way back from wandering the city streets, I noticed a sign for Magnum McFlurry.  It sounded too good to be true...because it was.  Though it was true, it was not necessarily good.  Here's a nondescript picture of it:  

It tasted like plain vanilla ice cream with some semblance of caramel swirl and candy buttons of white chocolate.  I don't understand how this relates to a chocolate-coated ice cream bar, but nothing about it made sense.  I imagine the meeting at McDonald's HQ went something like this:

- Bigwig A: "Ok we have a contract with Magnum ice cream.  What can we do with it?"

- Idiot B: "Welp, I imagine we can sell Magnum as a McFlurry ice cream cup at McDonald's."

- Obvious commenter person C: "Isn't that just ice cream with more ice cream??"

- Idiot B: "Yes! But we can add pieces of white chocolate that look like clothing buttons, and have their taste and texture too!"

- Bigwig A: "I approve."

Afterwards, I went to CoolBlue, the Best Buy equivalent, to get a long ethernet cord.  The wireless internet here is pretty sporadic, and I'm tired of Skype kicking me off.  I originally got a 10 meter cord thinking that over 30 feet of cord would be enough (1 meter = 3.28 feet!) to connect my laptop to the downstairs router; however, I had to go back later to get a 15 meter one.  Handling a return in a foreign language is complicated.  Even though the guy spoke English, he didn't really understand what "exchange" meant.  So I tried to walk him through what I was attempting to do, and about 5 minutes later he figured it out.  Between the internet in the apartment and T-Mobile's service on my iPhone, I'm starting to miss AT&T.  That's when you know things are bad tech-wise.  

Aside from a little (I mean a lot) more walking, the rest of my afternoon was spent at Erasmus.  The campus has all the aesthetic charm of a pleasant concentration camp in the midst of a massive construction project.  I was able to pick up my student ID card and check out the classrooms at the School of Law.  One thing I noticed is, after finding the syllabi to my classes, it looks like I won't get the majestic 5 day weekend after all.  It appears that two of my classes have "seminars," though I don't know what distinguishes that from a lecture.  In my EU Internal Market Law class, it means a moot court, so...looks like I'm going to be practicing EU law more firsthand than I imagined....

Most importantly, Dutch minions!: 

Today's Dutch lesson: Obvious words, yay!!!

- Pardon! (Excuse me!)

- Hallo. (Hello.)

- Vaarwel. (Goodbye.)

       

Straat walker

The Netherlands, according to most people 'in the know,' is the bike capital of the world.  There is almost a 1:1 ratio of bikes to people, and over a quarter of travel is accomplished by bike (http://top10hell.com/top-10-countries-with-most-bicycles-per-capita/).  A bike is stolen every 39 seconds, to the tune of 800,000 stolen bikes a year.  (http://www.urbanbicycles.com.au/lekker-bikes/100-things-you-should-know-about-cycling-in-amsterdam-part-4/).  I am also beginning to believe a rite of passage here is nearly or actually being clipped by a bicyclist.  There are so many bike lanes that it's difficult to tell if you're on a sidewalk or jaywalking.  I suspect one reason for the heavy reliance on biking is the relative size of cars and Dutch people.  Cars here are almost universally Smart-sized cars, and Dutch people are monstrous.  I am about the size of a malnourished 5 year old girl here.  Even the 'little' old ladies clock in at 6 feet or more.  I have a hard time telling the difference between the Dutch and their skyscrapers.  And I thought Europeans heavily opposed growth hormones...

Anyways, the point is that I don't have a bike yet.  New bikes start at around 150 euros; however, I keep hearing things about a bike black market where you can get bikes for 30 euros.  Except they're probably stolen.  Rotterdamnit.  Since I have yet to find a bike, I have been walking everywhere.  There is a shopping district towards the center of Rotterdam that's about 2 miles from my apartment.  Today I happened upon an open-air market like I used to find in Brussels:

Vendors sell everything from clothes, to jewelry, to textiles, to vegetables and cheese, premade lunch and snack items, etc.  I was there for a late lunch, so I ended up getting a 'Turkish pizza' (which was meant to be heated up but I was hungry and enjoyed the refreshing coldness) and a broodje bratwurst (sausage sandwich with onions); however, the king of all food royalty is the stroopwafel with Nutella and coconut flakes...the best thing I've eaten since I discovered Biscoff cookie spread (called Speculoos here):

Proverbial 'they' say "When in Rome, do as the Romans do."  I say "When in Rotterdam, eat stroopwafels with Nutella and coconut flakes, or else SEVEN DAYS."  All your calorie are belong to me.  I earned the hell out of those calories - I estimate having walked 10 miles over the past 2 days.  

In addition to eating and perusing the market, I spent most of the day shopping at various big stores.  First, I tried HEMA, which is the Dutch answer to Target.  It is filled with all sorts of unnecessarily-neon-colored objects, overpriced clothing and organizing supplies, a small food shopping and cafe area, and a mysterious one-way escalator which forced me into a parking garage.  Nonetheless, I managed to get some useful household supplies there, as well as a stylin' rainjacket for 15 euros.  Afterwards, I tried Blokker, which is like a pint-sized Target.  It had a couple of neat items that I picked up, including a color-changing light shaped like a wine bottle and a fleece blanket with a random squirrel on it.  One thing I didn't get, since it's kind of useless, is this Euro-decorated piggybank: 

After stopping into a few more random shops, I made my way back to the grocery store, Albert Heijn.  They had buffalo mozzarella for 2.50 euros, so I exploded in the store and they had to clean up all the body parts.  I hyperbolized the last bit, but it was pretty exciting.  So was finding a Lay's potato chip flavored with teriyaki sauce.  I'm intrigued to try it, but if I die of salt poisoning there's the reason.     

                 

To end: Today's Dutch lesson: dankjewel (thank you)!

Oranje is the New Black

I decided to start a blog about my experiences as an exchange student in The Netherlands for three main reasons: 1) so friends and family can keep track of me, 2) so I can remember all the little details years down the road, and 3) more self-indulgent bullshitting a la Facebook.  I will try to keep posts succinct and, when possible, [insert other preferable adjective].

For this first post, I'll work my way chronologically through my trip thus far.

1)  Plane rides - Both flights were like earthquake simulators.  Except in a simulator you don't usually worry about the possibility of falling out of the sky to your watery or explosive demise.  To add insult to near-death and/or injury, the nearly-eight hour transatlantic flight didn't have TV monitors for each seat!  What is this, 1842?!  I thought in-flight movies were about as prevalent as VHS tapes at Blockbuster by now.  Overall, the flight went something like this:

2)  Trip from Schiphol Airport to Rotterdam - HiSpeed rail here is pretty dang awesome.  I got from Amsterdam to Rotterdam in about 27 minutes and it cost me 14.50 euros.  Because I was under a bit of a time crunch to get to the keys to my apartment, I took a taxi from Rotterdam Central Station, which cost another 15.50 euros.  The only thing the driver knew how to discuss at any length in English was the generally high level of attractiveness of Dutch women.  However, he also gave me very critical advice: "There are two unpredictable things in Rotterdam: weather and women.  And you can only control one of them."  Okay, sir.  

3)  Rotterdam so far - My first impression is that Rotterdam is a typical European city with a more modern business-looking flair.  It appears peppered with glass high-rises and abstract-style architecture.  Everyone speaks English around here.  Which led me to think: it shouldn't be so easy for me to get by in a country without knowing a single word of their language.  But English-speakers get away with it all the time.  Dutch students coming to the United States have to know English; how many of us would learn and fluently speak this crazy friggin language?!  The Dutch language is like the Island of Misfit Vowels, where all the unused vowels go to wallow forever in agony.  I can't tell if something is a road name or a Scrabble tile holder.  There's definitely more vowels than people per capita here.  

This all caused massive amounts of fun (?) in the supermarket, Albert Heijn.  When you first walk in, you see this:

For the record, those are all varieties of lettuce.  Considering I can't read the name on anything, I have to guess what I'm buying.  It's also especially sanitary when you can't tell if you have to refrigerate after opening, or if it's actually rat poison with an unassuming chocolate label.  I just resorted to buying obvious-looking things, as well as a durum at a local doner kebab shop (look it up).  

In addition to food (I hope) shopping, I got my phone configured with 1 GB of data and 50 minutes local talk time through T-Mobile.  Therefore, if you need to contact me, use online means - don't bother with texts or calling.

I am so ready to not be awake for a day and a half.  Until next time: Vaarwel!  Let's go out on a high note:

Dat Helpt!