After the bus trip, one day of London, and Stonehenge, not to mention all of the Rotterdam lead-up, I felt like I got hit by a double decker bus that proceeded to reverse over me multiple times, then broke down and caught fire on my face for good measure. Specifically, my feet felt like one giant blister filled with microscopic construction workers jackhammering away, except with nuclear bombs instead of jackhammers. The internet at my apartment in Rotterdam had been working so intermittently, and the T-Mobile phone internet had not been working period, that I just wanted to have a good Skype connection more than anything.
That in mind, I tried to schedule my day at a fairly relaxed pace so as to find time for a Wifi connection. I began by taking the Tube over to Abbey Road. I figured that all it entailed was finding the crossing, and holding up residential traffic while I looked like an ass. I assumed correctly. Abbey Road crossing is right in front of the legendary Abbey Road Studios, but aside from that the main function of that crosswalk is to piss off local Londoners who want to be on their merry way. Regardless, it was the perfect choice for me to see a quick sight in London before crossing other odds and ends off my list.
The only other place I knew for sure I wanted to visit before I left was Harrod's. I had heard random things about Harrod's and didn't quite understand what it was. For good reason, as I found out. Harrod's contains one of everything ever. The department store, if you can call it that, has five humongous floors filled with various vendors. One room of vendors might have luxury handbags, the one next to it has expensive jewelry, and the next has gourmet foods. The store is so massive that it has its own map, and any interaction with a vendor will lead to the inevitable question "Do you need directions to anything else in Harrod's?" In my humble opinion, Harrod's shines brightest in its food sections. It reminded me of the candy store in Harry Potter (Honeydukes?) where you can pick just about any type of consumable you're craving. I imagine that somewhere, in the deep dark recesses of the store, you could find chocolate-covered monkey brains or gourmet elephant dung with a candied pecan center. If you can dream it, you can buy it! #capitalism
I wandered around Harrod's for a couple of hours, then decided to go out in search of money and Wifi. It took an hour to track down a Barclay's bank, which turned out to be in a secret alley next to Harrod's. Kind of like the secret train door thing Harry Potter reference fill in the blanks yourself nerd. Afterwards, I found a Starbucks, and knowing that Starbucks is good only for its Wifi, I looked around for a seat. All of the seats were taken by hip coffee drinkers who understand terms like "macchiato" and "mocha latte" and "coffee." Not being from that terrible planet, I figured the only way I would go unnoticed and get some Wifi action without being kicked out or hipster-harangued was to buy something. I ordered a "small tea" which the lady promptly rephrased as a "tall Earl Grey no milk." Hanging on to the grand tradition of Starbucks sucking, the tea was not worthy of the name "tea." It was more like "pee." However, the Wifi actually worked perfectly and I got to Skype with Robyn. Starbucks, you're good for something!
Afterwards, I ran back into Harrod's for some lunch, which ended up being a French pampelmousse (grapefruit) lemonade and a chicken and pepper baguette. Harrod's does not allow you to consume food on the premises, so I took the cue to go to my next stop. I kept hearing about how good the Tate Modern was and made my way there while having my lunch. Along the way, I found London Bridge, which contrary to popular belief is not falling down. However, I did see Fergie-Ferg being a cave troll like Tom Cruise...
The Tate Modern has public viewing galleries and paid exhibits, but being cheap and not caring enough about art, I stuck with the free exhibits. I generally do not enjoy art museums, and the Tate Modern did not disappoint in being overall disappointing. I suppose if you like wall-sized paintings of red streaks, you're in luck. I happen to like modern art (especially surrealism) when compared to other visual art forms, but some of the pieces challenged the distinction between purposeful genius abstraction and first grade art class. My favorite part was the pontificating amongst the viewing public as they stared for minutes on end at, for example, a bunch of rocks hanging from a string. Does it represent the chains of bondage that hold us back in our daily lives, or perhaps the finite time humans have tethered to the earth realm? Or perhaps someone really likes rocks on strings and we're experiencing his strange obsession without warning the rocks about a rock predator on the loose?
By then it was getting to closing time for most places, so I came up with my last sight to see in London: the Royal Observatory/Prime Meridian. It seemed fitting to end at a place from which all places technically start. The walk up to the Observatory is quite a trek. You walk on a path so steep that math teachers use it to relay the idea of obtuse angles to their students. Once I made it up the hill and/or torture device, I realized that the Observatory was going to close in five minutes. I was so exhausted, red-faced, and out of breath by the time I got to the ticket office that the lady there gave me a discount on admission. I did the tourist thing, taking a picture of my feet straddling the East and West. How original. Before heading back to the hostel, I took one last look at Big Ben, and grabbed a traditional cornish pasty as my last meal. It was a delicious, empanada-like baked good filled with beef and potatoes. With that, I decided it was a good time to call it quits on my London trip.
Luckily, there is not much to tell about the return trip the next day. All the excitement happened first thing in the morning, when the hostel couldn't find my driver's license for 20 minutes. Other than that, the bus ride was very pleasant. The bus had Wifi; we took long rest breaks; and we even went through the Chunnel this time. All in all, London was a fantastic voyage, and one that I hope to do again with Robyn. I highly suggest it to anyone who has the time.
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From here on out, my blog will be much shorter and/or less frequent, since hopefully my schedule will settle down. All of this traveling has gotten me to the point where I am looking forward to stillness and serenity. I will certainly keep everyone up to date when things happen. Hope you've enjoyed reading so far!
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